"all I can do is be me.., whoever that is" - BOB DYLAN
For those of you unfamiliar with me, let me say I am sincerely thrilled you're here! For those of you who do know me... that terrifies me. Only because I'm finding that being myself on these out-of-context-from-real-life media platforms can bring out the who I want to be seen as, not the who I actually am. I'm hoping that by stating this, it helps me keep the compass facing North.
Jackie Rae Daniels,
that's me alright. Some parts of my life are like a rockstar love story, some parts are pathetic, and some parts... more than I'd like to admit, are made up of the most mundane of mundane!
This is the story of my becoming Jackie Rae Daniels. It starts in my friends basement back in 2004. I was 19, and a good friend of mine had just gotten back from Iraq. It was his first of a few tours. He was different. Different enough to notice, you know? He was very jovial and high energy, and drank. He never really did before. We were under age, but since he could fight in a war his folks decided he was old enough to decide if he could drink or not. Fair enough, I say. I wasn't much of a drinker at this point, my D.O.C. (drug of choice) was pot. But, I had no reservations about putting a few back with the soldier. It was Jack Daniels. I'll tell you, the moment that whiskey passed my lips and made it to the sacral part of my being, my life changed. It was a coming to god moment. I am not exaggerating. It didn't take much, in fact that one shot sent me exactly where I wanted to be. A grand and tragic love story took place for the rest of my 20's. I ended up marrying that son of a bitch... yes indeed.
I'll never forget walking into that courtroom on a late April morning. All of my papers in order. It was months of preparation, and I wanted it done right, and legal! Bonafide name change to seal the deal. Yessir... I married Jack Daniels. Branding myself to whisky for LIFE. *SIGH* What a laugh now.
I've got this reminder now, you see? It reminds me first and foremost to not take myself, or life too seriously, it reminds me the importance of my sobriety, and lastly that identity only goes as far as you throw it. I'm not a great pitcher. So, I'll just leave it at that.